Every single moment in life is a choice.... wake up?----- yeah... sure... do homework? ----seriously?eh, no.
But when you make a decision because you thought that sounded like the right path. Even so, people around you disagree, and tell you to do the easiest path,
The one you can manage.
The one you can succeed.
The one you are only good at.
Wait, but what if you aren't good at that?! and that's why you chosen to do what it seems to be the most difficult task and that only a miracle can make you succeed in that path.
People tell me:
Keep to what you know.
Think of another thing, something easier for YOU.
Well i knew you wouldn't be able to do it.
Come on, did you really think you would actually succeed?
It's for the best that you look at the reality.
Just give up on something you can't do.
If that your best well, why did you try to go for something out of your league?
What my brain says:
Well, they are right, as you can see in your grades, your drawings, you.
It's better to be realistic, just look at the facts lay out for you.
Then as always quietly my soul/heart whisper:
I want to know More.
I want to look complicated things.
Yes well i didnt manage to do it this time, but everyone have their moment of greatness when the time is off.
Hell Yeah i can make it! in my own style and my own beating drum!
Why would i want to look at reality, if reality tells me that I'm nobody!
I can't give up, because I know everyone is capable of doing everything if they TRY and TRY (like that song by p!nk)
I dont have a League, I fricking can do this!
Why not me?! Why can't I?! What is it that I dont have that others do?!
talent? passion? memory? grades >.>? curves? a belief? someone there for me, to just hold me and tell me, Screw them, what do you think?
The only thing I know that I'm the best is my imagination. None has it. None can see it either as is in a cage, my brain. I won't share it, as is nonsense to others who have ever gotten close to take a peek at it.
I can't never fail in my imagination. I'm everything I have ever wished, wanted to be.
Make a choice... leave the dreamworld where you walk alone, yet at your own rhythm. Or Stay, and fail at life.
I'm not grateful, thus makes me feel guilty, and so disappoint those around me, even if they dont say it or show it. but I can feel it.
I want to leave, and be far away from here. Run away. or walk, not much of a runner. Be in a place where I can actually do something, just by being me.
Decide, what you gonna do, who you want to be... I dont know. how can you not know?! I dont know.
Just... leave me alone. I don't want to follow anybody!